


hold your breath, speak the truth

by invoked_duplicity



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Matchmaking, F/F, Heart-to-Heart, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love Confessions, Minor Injuries, Prompt Fic, mentions of bad parenting, there is fear of suffocation mentioned as well as the start of a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-26 18:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14407668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invoked_duplicity/pseuds/invoked_duplicity
Summary: Beau and Yasha get stuck in a caved in mine shaft and Beau is injured. They talk about feelings.





	hold your breath, speak the truth

**Author's Note:**

> This is another prompt fill from tumblr, this time given to me by lesétoilesfous! Beau and Yasha, my favorite useless lesbians, have a hard time to talk about feelings and apparently it takes some broken bones and mild panic to make them talk. 
> 
> If you have prompts you would like to see filled, come say hi in my askbox on tumblr at invoked-duplicity :)

### I

Beau is pretty sure that her foot is broken. 

Which sucks because she can’t do shit without both her feet. And as if that doesn’t suck enough, the air is so full of dust that she can barely breathe. Beau covers her nose and mouth with her sleeveless coat as good as she can and swears under her breath.

“Beau?”

Yasha’s voice is close by and Beau tries to turn but she can’t really see anything through the dust. The stone ceiling of the tunnel above them caved in after an explosion. Who the fuck sets of explosions in old mine shafts anyway?

Beau is pissed. 

And if she gets her hands on those fuckers who set of this explosion, they will get their asses handed to them. Thoroughly. As soon as Jester heals her damn foot, that is. 

“I’m here”, she croaks. Her voice sounds about as dusty and hoarse as Beau expected, though she hopes that Yasha didn’t hear the hitch in her breath. Big chunks of rock now lie between Beau and the exit of this stupid cave and her foot is stuck between a pile of them. She coughs and bends towards the rocks, putting her hands on the cold stone to see if she can move the pieces to get her foot free. 

But the stone that lies on top of her shin is too heavy for her to move out of this position. Beau could swear that the walls are coming closer while she sweats and curses and tries to pull the damn thing off her leg. 

“Are you alright?”

Yasha appears right beside Beau. Her eerie eyes find Beau’s leg stuck in the rubble and she bends down without another word immediately. 

“I’m fine”, Beau croaks. Yasha doesn’t comment on this obvious lie. She looks at the way Beau’s foot is stuck intently, then she rubs her hands and grabs the rock. Beau can see sweat on Yasha’s face and a lot of dust in her black hair. Otherwise Yasha seems unharmed. 

“Can you pull your foot out?”, Yasha asks and the strain in her voice makes Beau hold her breath. Beau tries to wiggle her leg but white-hot pain shoots through her ankle and up her leg and she tries to muffle an undignified sob. Yasha hears it, of course. 

Because it’s not enough that Beau got stuck in this stupid ass pile of rubble and looks like a piece of old furniture that hasn’t been dusted in ages – no. 

Now she makes embarrassing sounds because she’s in so much pain as well. Yasha probably thinks Beau is made of eggshells now. 

Ugh. 

Yasha huffs and Beau can see her biceps flex as she grabs the stone a bit differently and pulls again. Beau leans back and uses her arms to push back and slowly get her foot out of the rubble. 

She does not whimper. Definitely not. 

And she also barely crumbles to the ground after her foot is finally free. No. It’s all very dignified and badass and Yasha is most certainly impressed by Beau’s prowess and her high tolerance for pain. 

Fuck this shit. 

“Let me see”, Yasha says and her voice is so soft that Beau’s heart stumbles in her chest. She doesn’t need this. This whole situation sucks and Beau shouldn’t swoon over the fact that Yasha’s muscles look impressive or that her brow furrows full of concentration while she looks at Beau’s leg or how soft and cautious the feather-like, pale fingertips touch Beau’s dark, filthy skin. 

Beau needs to sort out her priorities. 

“Your ankle is broken, but I think it’s a clean break”, Yasha informs Beau and props her up against one of the walls. Beau huffs and tries not to move her foot. She can feel some beads of sweat trickling down her neck and forehead and closes her eyes. The stone pokes her into the small of her back uncomfortably. 

When Beau closes her eyes she can almost pretend that she doesn’t sit in a way too enclosed space with walls possibly breaking in at any minute and burying her alive. 

Ugh.

Without meaning to Beau thinks of Molly and the way he woke up with no memories, clawing his way out of the ground. This is not helpful at all, which is typical for that purple asshole. 

“Beau, you need to breathe”, Yasha reminds her quietly. She sits right beside Beau now, their shoulders almost touching. 

“Oh yeah. Breathing. No problem”, Beau hisses. 

“Are you afraid of small spaces?”, Yasha asks bluntly. Sometimes Yasha’s way to speak reminds Beau of Caleb. Beau doesn’t look at her and she doesn’t answer. She just tries to concentrate on her breathing, holding her coat in front of her face again. She will not tell Yasha how uncomfortable she is every time they move underground and when the darkness presses down on her, looming between her and fresh air and the open sky. 

She will not tell Yasha about the time she spent in jail when she was just fifteen. In a tiny cell with no window. She will definitely not talk about any of that. Or think about it. 

“Beau?”

Beau can hear that her breathing has turned ragged but she can’t force herself to slow it down. 

“Hey, hey, Beauregard. Look at me”, Yasha says surprisingly soft and Beau blinks up at the pale face looming over her. It’s weird to hear Yasha say Beau’s full name. Long fingers grab the sides of Beau’s face and Yasha crouches over her now, tilting Beau’s face upwards. 

“Can you breathe with me?”, Yasha asks with that soft voice that makes Beau’s insides tickle. 

She nods hastily.

“Ok, that’s great. Breathe in. Hold. Keep looking at me. Breathe out. You’re doing great.”

Beau knows that Yasha is just as socially awkward as Beau. And maybe even Caleb. But right now she seems so sure about how to handle the situation, as if she calmed people down a dozen times before. 

Beau keeps breathing and she tries to concentrate on the sound of Yasha’s voice and the feeling of cool fingertips on her cheeks. 

“How do you know–”, Beau says but she can’t finish the thought because she has to keep breathing. 

“Molly”, Yasha says shortly. She lets Beau’s face go and sits down next to her again after Beau’s breathing has calmed down. Beau grumbles. Of course there is another thing she has in common with Mollymauk fucking Tealeaf. 

Beau could swear that she can still feel Yasha’s fingertips on her face. 

“So, how do we get out of here? Can your impressive arms lift all this heavy as fuck rubble?”, Beau asks and closes her eyes again. The part of the cave-in which they sit now is maybe the size of a small tavern single bedroom with lower ceilings and way more dust. Beau thinks that she probably should feel lucky regarding the fact that neither her nor Yasha got buried completely under all those rocks. 

It was all Jester’s idea, of course. Jester, who tried to play matchmaker at least eight times during the last four weeks alone, suggested that Yasha and Beau should split from the rest of the group. 

‘But is it wise to send both our muscles away?’, Nott had asked. 

‘Don’t be silly, Nott, I’m plenty strong!’, Jester had answered and shooed Yasha and Beau off into the left tunnel, while the rest of them turned right. Beau hopes that the others are ok and that the explosion didn’t cause the whole mine to cave in and collapse. The reason that the others consider Yasha and Beau ‘their muscles’ is probably the only reason why they deemed it ok to send them down the left shaft alone. 

“I don’t think I can lift all that on my own”, Yasha says and Beau can feel her head turn to look at the cave-in, as if to assess the weight. 

“Great. Then maybe we’ll just suffocate while the others get to punch skeletons in the face.”

Yasha sighs. 

“They’ll find us”, she says. Beau doesn’t ask why Yasha is so sure of that. Maybe Yasha and Molly have some weird soulmate-thing going on where they can always find each other. Beau snorts at the thought of that. Sometimes it seems just so ridiculous that the person she has a big, inconvenient crush on is best friends with someone Beau dislikes with a passion. 

This is all Jester’s fault. And Caleb’s for encouraging her. And Molly’s because he just stood there with a shit-eating grin and looked as if this might be something he can have a big old laugh about later. And now Beau is probably going to suffocate without ever getting to kiss Yasha’s stupidly perfect face even once in her life. 

“You still with me?”, Yasha asks. 

“No”, Beau answers. She can hear the strain in her voice but she can’t help it. 

“Talk to me.”

“No thanks. I’d rather save my breath.”

Yasha is silent for a long moment and for a while Beau thinks that she finally crossed a line. Too grumpy, too unlikable, too harsh after all. It’s just like her mother used to say. 

‘This is not how you make people like you, Beauregard. You should smile more.’

“You know, I like this about you”, Yasha says quietly, cutting through her mother’s voice in her head and Beau opens her eyes to look at her. Yasha’s head is still turned as if she still considers lifting all those rocks. “That you say stuff exactly the way you think. It’s easier to understand, y’know. I’m not good with people. But you– you just say what you want and that– that just makes it really easy.”

Beau blinks at Yasha. Yasha, this huge woman who can break people in two with her bare hands, sounding so unsure while talking about this. Yasha, who is just as awkward as Beau – and maybe that is part of the reason why Beau likes her. Yasha is right. Sometimes it’s hard to understand what people want, because they coat their wants in endless chatter and false smiles and pretenses. 

“Well, I don’t always say what I want”, Beau admits und keeps looking at Yasha’s profile. Yasha looks like a statue, not moving at all. But then her head turns slowly and she looks down at Beau. Beau can’t see much because she doesn’t want to put on her goggles. Her heart is racing and this time it has nothing to do with the fear of impending suffocation. 

Yeah, Beau usually tries not to admit out loud that she wants Yasha. Somehow she doesn’t think that Yasha would appreciate that as much. Beau has to snort at another thought of her mother. 

‘How do you expect to get a husband like this, Beauregard? Men will not appreciate your harsh bluntness. Do you want to die alone?’

Yasha’s voice cuts through the memory again, just like she does with her huge ass sword and enemies that stand in her way. 

“What are you laughing about?”

“Ah, my good old mum. She always said that I wouldn’t get a husband because I was too blunt, you know. That I would probably die alone.”

And now Beau sits in this cave with Yasha. A woman she likes. Who gives a fuck about getting a man when you could also have a girlfriend? And Yasha doesn’t give a fuck about Beau’s bluntness. Or her harsh edges. Fuck her mother for making Beau second guess herself. 

Fuck her mother in general. 

“Why would you want a husband who doesn’t like the way you are?”, Yasha asks and the bewilderment in her voice is so real that Beau has to laugh. 

“Well, you ask _her_ that. I don’t care to get a husband.”

“Oh. Well. That’s… that’s good.”

Beau raises her eyebrows. She’s not sure if Yasha is able to see that in the dark. Her heart seems to be close to tear itself apart and make her ribcage combust in the process. Being in love feels weirdly similar to getting adrenaline rushes shortly before punching someone. 

Fuck it, Beau thinks. If I die in here, might as well be bold and defy my mother one last time.

“Might want to get a wife, though”, she says and tries really hard to look at Yasha’s face. She can’t make out any expression through the darkness which is a shame. There is a very long silence following Beau’s words. 

“I assume your mother wouldn’t like that”, Yasha says and Beau could swear that Yasha’s voice sounds a bit hoarse. Could be from the dust in the air. 

“Nope, not one bit.”

“She doesn’t sound like a very good mother.”

“She really wasn’t.”

Another silence follows and this one is long. Beau turns her head away from Yasha again and closes her eyes once more, listening into the silence to see if she can make out any sounds that might suggest help is on the way. Or maybe a horde of bloodthirsty skeletons, considering her luck today. 

“Well. Your mother was wrong. And I–I like you the way you are.”

Beau’s first reaction is half of a heart attack. Then she punches Yasha in the arm. 

“What the fuck? Why do you tell me this when we’re going to die in this fucking cave?”

“We’re not going to die!”

“What. The. Fuck. Yasha!”

“I just– you know. I’m not good with feelings!”

“Yeah, well, neither am I! But this is the worst timing ever!”

Yasha huffs out a breath and crosses her arms in front of her chest. 

“I like you too, you asshole”, Beau says angrily. “This is the worst! I can’t even kiss you now, you buffoon.”

Yasha snorts and Beau can see her cover her face with her hands. 

“You can kiss me when we get out of here”, Yasha says quietly and Beau feels her heart skip several beats. She can hear the smile in Yasha’s voice. 

“You know, I should introduce you to my mother. It would be amazing. You could punch my dad in the face and everything. You would be their worst nightmare.”

“I would tell them that they raised a great daughter”, Yasha says. 

Beau wants to laugh and cry at the same time which says everything about her emotional state right now. 

“Well, I don’t think they’d agree”, Beau answers truthfully and throws Yasha a lopsided grin. “But I like that you think so.”

Beau thinks that maybe she hasn’t felt that conflicted ever before in her entire life. She’s scared shitless because she might die in this hole, angry because Yasha chose this stupid ass moment and because she thought of her parents which always puts her in a bad mood, and also disgustingly happy because Yasha said that she _likes_ Beau. Exactly the way she is, something her mother always claimed would never happen. 

“Yasha? Beau?”

That is definitely Jester’s voice. 

“We’re here!”, Beau shouts and it echoes faintly against the walls of the cave. Yasha’s fingers brush against Beau’s for a second, which makes Beau hold her breath. Then Yasha gets up as good as she can in this small pocket of the cave and steps up to the cave-in. 

“Beau is hurt”, she says loudly. 

“Oh no! I can help, Beau, don’t you worry! Did you kiss each other yet, though?”

Beau feels the blush creep up her neck and she has to restrain herself to not throw insults at Jester through the wall. 

“Jester, let’s not forget our priorities here”, Fjord’s voice comes through the rocks. 

“Oh, yes. Sure. Step aside, please!”

Beau shakes her head. She listens to the others pushing and pulling rocks aside while Yasha helps from the inside as good as she can. 

“Really, though. Did you kiss?”, Jester inquires again. 

“I swear to the gods, Jester, I will–“, Beau starts, but Yasha interrupts her. 

“I’ll kiss her as soon as you get us out of here”, she says. Beau sputters. 

“Ohh! Guys! Did you hear that? My plan worked! I’m the best matchmaker ever! Let me get this rock, so they can kiss faster! This is so romantic!”

Beau can’t even be mad anymore while she listens to Jester’s happy rambling about how great Yasha and Beau are together and how badass they look when standing next to each other and how Jester wants to write romance novels about them. 

“Hey Yasha, if I give you five gold, will you carry me back home?”, Beau asks weakly as she can see Jester’s blue face peak through a hole in the cave-in for the first time. Yasha snorts. 

“Keep your gold. But I’ll take that kiss for payment, if you don’t mind.”

“Deal.”


End file.
